My Milkshake Makes All the Boys Run Away

When I first started this blog, I not only wanted it to be a public proclamation of my mission, but a lesson to everyone that it’s okay to fuck up sometimes as long as you learn from the experience. I also came up with a bunch of really awful jokes that I just couldn’t resist to tell. One of which is this very blog post.

At first it was just a silly title; Ha ha, it’s like that song, but d. Bravo, Alicia, you’ve mastered the art of comedy.

But then, at all once, I lost control of the situation.

Initially, I only wanted to replace the chorus and yet here we are, an embarrassing amount of time later, with a fully rewritten version of “Milkshake by Kelis” by Yours Truly.

(For an optimal blogging experience, I recommend you play the song while reading this. Feel free to sing along, but avoid public places. Trust me on this.) As the song progressed, it took an unexpected turn for the worst and I didn’t really try to stop it, but now I’m thinking I should have.

Enjoy, please don’t call the authorities on me, and above all: I’m sorry.

 

 

My milkshake makes all the boys run away,
And they’re like
“I’m calling the cops,
Damn right, I’ve told you to stop,
Yet you watch me,DSC02283.JPG
From across the way.”

I see you walking,
And move right past me
With that new polo you wore,
It’s so divine,
Forever mine,
Inside my mind.

La la-la la la,
Hiding out,
La la-la la la,
I’m always watching,

My milkshake makes all the boys run away,
And they’re like,
“I’m calling the cops,
Damn right, I’ve told you to stop,
I can see you,
Looking in my house.”DSC02297.JPG

I smell you cooking,
Outside your window
I wish that you would share,
A tiny bite,
I’ll try, late at night,
Hope that’s alright,

La la-la la la,
Picking locks,
La la-la la la,
I want some chili,

My milkshake makes all the boys run away,
And they’re like,
“I’m calling the cops,
Damn right, I’ve told you to stop,
Now you’ve broke in,
And ate all my food.”

Maybe I went too far,
When I brought my tape recorder,
But then you broke my heart,
Filed a restraining order,
Try and keep us apart,
Distance can’t stop my heart,DSC02268.JPG
I’ll see your ass in court,
Trap you with child support

Na na-na na na,
Never stop,
Na na-na na na,
I’ll have your babies

My milkshake makes all the boys run away
And they’re like,
We never had sex,
Damn right, this doesn’t make sense,
Yet I’m paying,
Your alimony.”

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “My Milkshake Makes All the Boys Run Away

Add yours

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: