Most of my posts are decided in their opinions, but this post is different because I don’t know what the right answer is.
This post is a battle between my brain, my heart and other parts.
Shitting where you eat doesn’t just refer to fraternizing in the workplace. It’s bigger than that. Family friends, tight-nit friend groups, and tight-nit friends in the workplace that have met your family all fall under the no-go zone for tom foolery.
Rule of thumb is if you’re in familiar territory, you’re probably in dangerous territory. But this is why it’s so tempting.
When you’re sad and alone, all you want is an easy fix and some cuddles. Because we’re naturally lazy creatures we want to look in the places you go the most. No one gains comfort from pursuing new people, wondering if/when they’re going to reveal a personality trait that suddenly makes them less attractive.
If you already know someone relatively well it makes the dreaded chase-time cut itself in half. Friends already know you so you don’t have to deal with the “figuring each other out” part of the relationship, you can just jump right in.
While this reasoning is tempting and Jim from accounting may be great for friendly conversations, he must stay a coworker and nothing more.
I’ve ruined friendships like this without even realizing it. Over the years I’d jump from friend to friend because they were there and it seemed like the right thing to do.
Eventually when the group is close enough you blink and realize everyone is your eskimo brother and the whole thing seems really creepy in an incestual kind of way. Or you realize everyone has taken the other party’s side and suddenly you’re alone with a handful of dusty noise makers and a cake that you shouldn’t eat by yourself, but you will anyways.
I’d like to say I’ve learned from my mistakes and can preach the words of truth without being a hypocrite, but I can’t. I still get crushes on coworkers and fawn over my friends, and it bites me in the ass every time.
Despite the many downsides to this overlapping of interests and environments, the joy of being in a relationship with someone you care about both platonically and romantically is unlike any other. I can go back and forth on this subject forever, so I will choose to call it a stalemate: I cannot and will not learn from my mistakes because the time leading up to the eventual disaster is well worth the trouble.
That won’t stop me from complaining, of course.