Helping a Princess with Her Peaces

Dear Alicia,

I just want you to know that at the end of the day, you are the queen of everything and slay at life. Your sex conversations are phenomenal and I appreciate the voice you bring to people who can’t voice for themselves. And I adore how well you keep it very lighthearted and use colloquialism to your advantage. I love you so so much. Thank you for making sex and the human body a normal conversation rather than a taboo feature we beat around the bush to talk about.

But I do have a question..

In my experience over the past year, I haven’t really been sexually driven. And there are times when I get just super horny, and it’s super frustrating because it happens at total random moments. But I also can never relieve myself. I feel like someone else has to do it for me so I can fully enjoy it. But it’s killing me because I just ignore it all the time. And I’m too scared to ask a guy to do it with me, because I know I’m pretty but I hold no real sexual appeal to people, either. So, what do I do? I really can’t wait to move from the dorms because I also get embarrassed that others will hear me, but I’m scared, yet ready? I don’t know anymore.

Help me and my peaches, please.

-Princess Peach


Princess Peach,

First off: Don’t think that about yourself. Love yourself, or pretend that you do. If people think you’re confident, you can get away with anything. Confidence comes from the inside out, and it makes a real difference.

Low self-esteem can affect your sex drive, as can stress, a poor diet or lack of sleep. If you’re a college student those habits have become cornerstones in your daily lifestyle, especially during finals time.

Fixing low self-esteem is a long and arduous process, but if you start with the easier improvements, they  will help the greater cause.

Start with stress.

You’re allowed to loosen up, especially at this time of year. Sleep in. Have fun with your friends. Maybe text that cute guy you know about his St. Patricks Day plans. You never have to ask anyone for sex, but putting yourself out there is always healthy and beneficial. Whatever happens, happens, my friend.

Tis the season, so take  a break! Your libido will thank you.

On the subject of your dilemma with needing a second party to “relieve your tensions” is easy through the magical loopholes of rubber phallic friends. There are many different types and you can find the one that fits your fancy.

Let Macy Gray take it away.


I don’t know your lives, but I always like to help. While I may not be good at handling my own life,  I’m damn good at nagging people about theirs.

Ask me some questions, or just tell me a story. I can help you if you’re in a pickle, but my hands are tied if you’re in a squash.

And as Princess Peach said, I do talk about sex. Specifically sexual education and sexuality on SCAD Radio (show’s new air time is under deliberation.) You can listen to SCAD Radio on RadioFX, compatible for both iPhones and Androids, or on the SCAD Radio website.


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