Trapped in the Past

I had a post prepared for today lamenting about my past relationship for 400 words, ready to be published. It had actually been published for four hours already before I woke up and frantically wiped it from the face of WordPress’s “Reader” page. Things like this are exactly why I must stick with the goal of this blog. I have strayed in recent weeks, causing a mental breakdown in the form of a blog post.

Before this blog, I was in a relationship for two years. While it was fun, it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, just like any other relationship. But when you’re sad, stressed and obscenely homesick, that relationship feels like it was everything.

I’ve scoured my surroundings for potential solutions to my lonely problems, but have been met with unfortunate let-downs. Because of this, I have resorted to reminiscing on the last time I had the luxury of having a significant other (which is just a fancy way of saying I started to miss my ex.)

Before you scold me, I know you’ve done it too.

 

There always comes that time in the year when you feel like the world is made up of 50 people, all of which are in relationships, crazy, not your type, or you’re not theirs. It’s the same as when you feel like you have no friends, but in reality you have a bunch and they just vanished off the face of the earth. You think about all the old friendships you had and you become convinced that all your interactions end with fire, but in reality life just happens like that.

It’s all so maddening until you make new friends or meet someone new, then you feel like one of those people who looked for their keys for an hour only to realize they were in your pocket all along.

I’m just like the rest of you, waiting for my key-man to show up and make me feel like a happy idiot. But right now I am in the middle of an affection-less island and I need a Wilson to turn to. What else could I do than think back on good times?

Despite the newfound clarity I have on this subject, I still have one more obstacle I must cross before I’m truly in the clear. My plane leaves tomorrow morning, which means for the next week I will be in the same town with the very person I need to avoid more than anyone.

While I may complain of loneliness, among other feelings, but I am also well aware of why my last relationship ended in the first place. When I’m not in class, I’m at work. When I’m not at work, I’m with friends. When I’m not with friends, I’m asleep. Not much room for other matters, is there?

So for my safety, and the safety of the general public, I still remain decidedly undateable. Are you really that surprised?

 

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