That is me, I am that female and there is indeed some fuckery afoot. But how did it come to this? How did life get so absurd that a blog became necessary?
Well, let’s review: I haven’t been single for more than four months since I was a wee little fourteen year old. That means a good majority of my life have been plagued with musicians, hooligans, actual criminals, a dog, and a few friends-gone-rogue. No offense to the people of my past – you were all great, until you weren’t – but a good portion of that was on me.
I’ve made every mistake in the book, so much so, that my ‘expertise’ has evolved into a textbook of bad decisions and strange stories. I’d like to say my hindsight is 20/20, but it’d be more accurate to say that I’m blind and insane.
So after the rise and catastrophic fall of my love life, I’ve decided enough is enough. No more rushed relationships, no more mindless flirting, and no more fooling around with friends. I’m putting my foot down.
Stop laughing, I’m serious.
Until further notice, I am not allowed to do anything unless it is platonic, wholesome or generally functional. I am decidedly undateable and undateable I will stay.
This should be interesting…God help me.